Knowing

If you could know the future, would you want to? I’ve been exploring this idea of certainty, knowing and doubt and uncertainty for quite some time now. In fact I wrote a blog entry about the movie Doubt and the dangers of certainty back on January 6. (you can find it in the archives)

I’ve been unemployed for about 8 months now and have been searching for my right and perfect church for even longer. It sure would be nice to know where I’m going to end up; this idea of hanging out in the void of unknowing can be a bit unsettling sometimes.

I have already started packing. I figure I’m sending a message to the universe that I’m READY already!! My cats see all the boxes around, and look at me rather strangely. I tell them that we are moving, but I just don’t know where or when we are moving. I’m sure they’d like some certainty too.

So, if you could know what lie ahead in your future, would you be happy to know? That is one of the messages that the new movie, “Knowing” addresses. MIT Professor Astrophysicist John Koestler (Nicolas Cage) uncovers the meaning of a series of numbers that had been locked inside a time capsule for 50 years. The encoded message predicts with uncanny accuracy the dates, location, and death tolls of every major disaster for the past 50 years. The list shows three events yet to happen and John feels a strong connection to this list, because his wife died in one of the listed events. I’m sure he is thinking that if he had this knowledge earlier he could have stopped his wife’s death.

I could relate to this movie in so many ways. My husband died of cancer over 2 years ago, and the doctors told us that the cancer had probably been growing inside of him for 5 years before it was finally discovered. Had we discovered it earlier, he might have had a chance to beat it. I think there was something in me that knew. I made him get health insurance when he didn’t have any, and I told him time and again to get a physical and a colonoscopy. Something in me knew, but I didn’t really know. I’ve beaten myself up time and again because I didn’t force him to get a colonoscopy or a physical, but would it have really made a difference? I don’t have the answer to that question. Some part of me believes that it was simply his time to go, and there is nothing I could have done to change that fact.

I don’t want to tell you too much about this movie, except that you need to go see it. It was AWESOME! I left saying, “wow, wow, wow” over and over again, and, “that was awesome”.
As for knowing the future…I think I’m going to have to make peace with living in the Void of Unknowing. I don’t believe in determinism, which this movie explores, but neither do I believe that life is random. What I do believe is that there is a Higher Power and a Higher Purpose, and my part in it is to live the best possible life I can in every moment and to listen for the whisper of guidance.

Go see this movie…here’s a link to the trailer in case you haven’t seen it…but it doesn’t tell you enough. http://www.imdb.com/rg/VIDEO_PLAY/LINK/video/imdb/vi3391554329/

Doubt

Even though it is called Doubt, the new movie with Meryl Streep is more a movie about the dangers of “certainty”.

The word doubt means to be undecided or skeptical. One might think that being certain about something would be admirable, at least that’s what my husband used to tell me. He was frustrated that it took me so long to make up my mind. Often it is beneficial to be certain…there is tremendous power in Intention and clarity. However, what I have found is that there can also be great wisdom in uncertainty, especially when it involves others.

Sister Aloysius (Meryl Streep) began to have some doubts about Father Flynn (Philip Seymour Hoffman) when he paid personal attention to a student. In and of itself, having doubts is not a bad thing, yet she didn’t act like a person who simply doubted. She acted like a person who had her mind already made up. She didn’t have any proof, but she had her certainty!

When we are certain we are locked into a position, and then we look for evidence to support our entrenched position. If we are uncertain, then we remain open to exploration and to discovery. In certainty we are invested in being right. In uncertainty we are not attached to any outcome.

I admire Meryl Streep and think she is a great actress, although her character in this movie is not easy to like. She does a great job here of playing a stodgy nun who seems to find her purpose in making others miserable. She also has a history. She has had an experience with a priest in the past and so she brings that to her current situation.

All of us do that. We bring our past into the present and it influences our choices. Sometimes that is beneficial, and sometimes it isn’t. When is it right to move forward in certainty, and when is it important to do nothing and remain in doubt? That is the question this movie explores.

I really haven’t given away anything that wasn’t shown in the trailers. You will have to watch the movie to find out how it ends….I was a little surprised, but then again I really wasn’t. The ending made perfect sense to me. This movie is one that leaves you pondering. There is one thing I was not in doubt about: I loved this movie!!

Here’s the trailer in case you haven’t seen it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hpa37qaOp80