Knowing

If you could know the future, would you want to? I’ve been exploring this idea of certainty, knowing and doubt and uncertainty for quite some time now. In fact I wrote a blog entry about the movie Doubt and the dangers of certainty back on January 6. (you can find it in the archives)

I’ve been unemployed for about 8 months now and have been searching for my right and perfect church for even longer. It sure would be nice to know where I’m going to end up; this idea of hanging out in the void of unknowing can be a bit unsettling sometimes.

I have already started packing. I figure I’m sending a message to the universe that I’m READY already!! My cats see all the boxes around, and look at me rather strangely. I tell them that we are moving, but I just don’t know where or when we are moving. I’m sure they’d like some certainty too.

So, if you could know what lie ahead in your future, would you be happy to know? That is one of the messages that the new movie, “Knowing” addresses. MIT Professor Astrophysicist John Koestler (Nicolas Cage) uncovers the meaning of a series of numbers that had been locked inside a time capsule for 50 years. The encoded message predicts with uncanny accuracy the dates, location, and death tolls of every major disaster for the past 50 years. The list shows three events yet to happen and John feels a strong connection to this list, because his wife died in one of the listed events. I’m sure he is thinking that if he had this knowledge earlier he could have stopped his wife’s death.

I could relate to this movie in so many ways. My husband died of cancer over 2 years ago, and the doctors told us that the cancer had probably been growing inside of him for 5 years before it was finally discovered. Had we discovered it earlier, he might have had a chance to beat it. I think there was something in me that knew. I made him get health insurance when he didn’t have any, and I told him time and again to get a physical and a colonoscopy. Something in me knew, but I didn’t really know. I’ve beaten myself up time and again because I didn’t force him to get a colonoscopy or a physical, but would it have really made a difference? I don’t have the answer to that question. Some part of me believes that it was simply his time to go, and there is nothing I could have done to change that fact.

I don’t want to tell you too much about this movie, except that you need to go see it. It was AWESOME! I left saying, “wow, wow, wow” over and over again, and, “that was awesome”.
As for knowing the future…I think I’m going to have to make peace with living in the Void of Unknowing. I don’t believe in determinism, which this movie explores, but neither do I believe that life is random. What I do believe is that there is a Higher Power and a Higher Purpose, and my part in it is to live the best possible life I can in every moment and to listen for the whisper of guidance.

Go see this movie…here’s a link to the trailer in case you haven’t seen it…but it doesn’t tell you enough. http://www.imdb.com/rg/VIDEO_PLAY/LINK/video/imdb/vi3391554329/